This occurred during a conversation that I had with a friend (we will call her W). W was telling me that her friend (we will call him N) keeps saying things along the lines of "You're such a dude," "There's no way you could be sexy," "You're so manly," etc. My friend grew up on a farm and is extremely proud of the fact that she is not a helpless petite size zero, but rather a strong independent woman who can do manual labor. W was explaining that she is upset that N keeps implying that she is not feminine. W and I then went on to discuss of how N's views of what "feminine" and "sexy" and "womanly" are is so narrow that he cannot go outside of his comfort zone to see that strong and independent does not have to mean "butch" or "manly." W went as far as calling him a "misogynistic bastard," but this interaction definitely got me thinking about how narrow society's definition of what it means to be a woman is.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Hey Man, you can't say that to a Woman!
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/things-men-shouldnt-say-to-women
Upon reading this article, I was intrigued of how I had previously heard a number of these phrases used before but usually as a joke and I had never thought too much into it. However, I now wonder if these statements would be considered equally wrong or offensive to the authors if they were said by a woman to another woman, or a woman to a man, or even a man to another man. Is it wrong for men to call women a "slut" or "bitch", or is it wrong for women to be called such names by anyone? If I were to tell a man he looked great for his age, would that be a "no-no," or is it only "wrong" to say to a woman due to social standards of female beauty and the notion that women's looks fade with age? Perhaps calling a man "rational" is offensive because it disregards his emotional side?
Upon reading this article, I was intrigued of how I had previously heard a number of these phrases used before but usually as a joke and I had never thought too much into it. However, I now wonder if these statements would be considered equally wrong or offensive to the authors if they were said by a woman to another woman, or a woman to a man, or even a man to another man. Is it wrong for men to call women a "slut" or "bitch", or is it wrong for women to be called such names by anyone? If I were to tell a man he looked great for his age, would that be a "no-no," or is it only "wrong" to say to a woman due to social standards of female beauty and the notion that women's looks fade with age? Perhaps calling a man "rational" is offensive because it disregards his emotional side?
Step the Fuck Up
In a recent game of "Step the Fuck Up," a.k.a. "Ten Fingers," someone said "step the fuck up if you've done bondage." This statement was followed with a player piping in and asking "define bondage." This made me realize that just like "hooking up" and "having sex," the terms we use to discuss our sexual activities are very ambiguous. For example, I consider bondage anything that involves being restrained, including handcuffs and silk ribbons. However, others consider bondage to be closer to BDSM with leather straps and ropes. This may explain why "bondage" is seen as taboo or kinky, because it depends on how "outside of the norm" the activity is considered.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Two-Spirit
http://www.upworthy.com/homosexuality-is-an-annoying-thing-someone-invented-so-this-group-of-americans-is-un-inventing-it
I came across this video that talked about the Native American concept of a person possessing Two-Spirits as opposed to the Western labels of gender identity and sexual orientation. What intrigued me about the video is that the contributors would draw parallels between homosexuality and being Two-Spirit, when I saw "two-spirit" being closer to bisexuality, or even a gender identity as opposed to a sexual orientation. Even the title of the "article"/video claims that Native Americans are "Un-Inventing" Homosexuality, when they are just clarifying that their culture has an identity known as "two-spirit." Even though this video is informative, I believe that it may be wrongly portraying information, especially in the claim that "homosexuality is an annoying thing someone invented," as opposed to a name to an identity that a certain demographic and culture uses.
I came across this video that talked about the Native American concept of a person possessing Two-Spirits as opposed to the Western labels of gender identity and sexual orientation. What intrigued me about the video is that the contributors would draw parallels between homosexuality and being Two-Spirit, when I saw "two-spirit" being closer to bisexuality, or even a gender identity as opposed to a sexual orientation. Even the title of the "article"/video claims that Native Americans are "Un-Inventing" Homosexuality, when they are just clarifying that their culture has an identity known as "two-spirit." Even though this video is informative, I believe that it may be wrongly portraying information, especially in the claim that "homosexuality is an annoying thing someone invented," as opposed to a name to an identity that a certain demographic and culture uses.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Duck + Duck = Double Duck
http://thoughtcatalog.com/macy-bradshaw/2014/04/11-new-code-words-for-women-to-use-on-their-night-out/
I stumbled upon this article and even though it may not particularly apply to the way people use language that deals with sexuality, this talks about language that women may use while being sexual being and looking for a man to meet/date/hook up with, so in my opinion this counts.
What I found to be interesting is what putting these labels on men seems a bit degrading to them because they are put into categories based almost solely on their physical appearance. We have heard terms like "grenade" be used to refer to women and have heard of the "wing-man/woman" approach, so perhaps these terms will one day be included in female vocabulary when discussing men.
I stumbled upon this article and even though it may not particularly apply to the way people use language that deals with sexuality, this talks about language that women may use while being sexual being and looking for a man to meet/date/hook up with, so in my opinion this counts.
What I found to be interesting is what putting these labels on men seems a bit degrading to them because they are put into categories based almost solely on their physical appearance. We have heard terms like "grenade" be used to refer to women and have heard of the "wing-man/woman" approach, so perhaps these terms will one day be included in female vocabulary when discussing men.
Grow Some Balls and Eat the Peanut
This incident happened when I was at a rehearsal for my dance show. One of the dance group members, we will call her H, dropped a peanut on the ground while eating trail mix. She picked it up and tried to give it to someone else to hold, to which a fellow group member, P, responded, "H, stop. Be a man, grow some balls, and just eat the peanut." P wanted H to exhibit stereotypical male behavior of not being picky about what one eats, but it was surprising that eating a peanut that has been on the floor is a "manly" act since there is not anything particularly masculine about it. I guess this shows that we now use "'be a man" to respond to various different situations that may not exhibit stereotypical masculine behavior.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
You're a Basis Bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaghIdSJKvQ
Urban Dictionary (as cited by this CollegeHumor clip) defines a "basic bitch" as "an extra regular female." The clip describes the "symptoms" as liking scented candles, Zumba, panini sandwiches from Panera, and wanting a picture frame that says "Family" on it.
However, when did "bitch" become a way to describe a regular female as opposed to being an insult that one calls a mean, rude, woman? How come it is now appropriate to call women by this highly gendered profane language in everyday conversation and in a non-profane way? Surprisingly, the woman in the commercial is sad that she will never become a "bad bitch," thus implying that one aims to become non-basic.
In addition, by defining a "basic bitch" as an "extra regular female," the clip implies that all women act in the way the woman in the skit does, therefore stereotyping female behavior to be "basic bitch" behavior.
Urban Dictionary (as cited by this CollegeHumor clip) defines a "basic bitch" as "an extra regular female." The clip describes the "symptoms" as liking scented candles, Zumba, panini sandwiches from Panera, and wanting a picture frame that says "Family" on it.
However, when did "bitch" become a way to describe a regular female as opposed to being an insult that one calls a mean, rude, woman? How come it is now appropriate to call women by this highly gendered profane language in everyday conversation and in a non-profane way? Surprisingly, the woman in the commercial is sad that she will never become a "bad bitch," thus implying that one aims to become non-basic.
In addition, by defining a "basic bitch" as an "extra regular female," the clip implies that all women act in the way the woman in the skit does, therefore stereotyping female behavior to be "basic bitch" behavior.
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