Final Chapter in this Epic Saga

http://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/the-final-chapter-from-gay-men-will-marry-your-girlfriends

I found this article, and since we discussed the "Gay Men will Marry your Girlfriends" video in class, I thought this would be a nice follow up. As always, the videos were quite amusing, and here are some of my linguistic notes.

Go For It, aka Video 1

"Jazzercizing, or whatever the fuck" -by adding "whatever the fuck", the man in the video is distancing himself from the activity and is trying to show that he doesn't know what it is called. He doesn't want to to admit that he knows that Jazzercizing is because it is not seen as a "manly" activity.

"We are ripped"- this reminds me of the conversation we had in class about the different ways men can describe their physical appearance. Apparently, this man identifies as "ripped".

"Devirginized" -is that even a word?

"You find vaginas to be icky" -'icky' is a very immature word to use to talk about a mature or adult topic. Perhaps they are using it because a woman is stereo-typically more likely to use the word 'icky' in general, and gay men as perceived to have more 'feminine language'. 

We Need your Help, aka Video 2

"This is a grill...It only cooks red meat." -I found this stereotype extremely amusing-that men only cook or eat steaks. Also, everyone loves a good steak, so don't be bashing on some meat!

"How about a nice...Eggplant Parmesan" - First of all, "sensitive side to your cooking"? I was not aware that cooking had a sensitive side? Also, if steak is a problem due to it being unhealthy (which I assume is the problem, because what other problem could there be with a steak?), Eggplant Parmesan is not particularly healthy either. Nor sensitive. Maybe a mousse? Mousse sounds sensitive,

"Alright Mary Sunshine, let's go"- I found it very interesting that the gay man used a female name to refer to the straight man in a demeaning way. Apparently women can't get any support from anyone. 

*Random Dance Caveat* -The music is an Argentine Tango. One does not move their hips in an Argentine Tango. Nor plie. 

He's just not that into you

This article talks about "tell-tale signs" that the guy that a girl is texting is not interested in her. First of all, I do not believe in "signs" because I feel that the best way to know whether someone likes you is to FLAT OUT ASK HIM. But my personal opinions aside, it is interesting that texting, which is an interaction purely based on language, is such a big phenomenon in the way we communicate. This article, and others like it, demonstrate that language is very important in how we portray interest. For example, according to Pauker, not asking questions or canned responses denote that someone is not interested. It has nothing to do with what he is saying, but how he is saying it.


http://thoughtcatalog.com/lance-pauker/2014/05/10-giveaways-that-the-guy-youre-texting-isnt-interested-from-a-guys-perspective/

The female version of purple

I was walking with my father today and we see a very prim and proper woman crossing the street. She was wearing a light purple pastel dress and looked as if she was straight out of a 50s movie. My dad mentioned that her dress was "NU purple" to which I replied "No, NU purple is darker." He then answered with "Her dress is the female version of NU purple." So apparently the dark purple that all of NU wears is a 'masculine' color and has a female version? It was just very interesting how the color of one's clothing is so gendered that just because of the light and pastel quality of it, it was seen as automatically the epitome of femininity. 

Give me a reason to Smile and Maybe I will

I stumbled upon this article on comebacks to someone saying "Smile" to you on the street. A bunch of the advice was amusing and made sense, but it got me thinking about the importance of "comebacks." We rely so much on language to express ourselves, so it only makes sense that we use comebacks to express our disapproval. When telling stories, we always note the comeback we wish we had at the moment. So I guess I better read  this list and learn it so I always have the perfect comeback when a stranger tells me to smile (which, by the way, has never happened).


http://thoughtcatalog.com/hok-leahcim/2014/05/18-creative-and-satisfying-comebacks-to-why-dont-you-smile-more/

This is my...Special Friend

A few days ago, I remembered an incident that happened when I went to lunch with my boyfriend, (we will call him W). At the time, he and I had been dating for only a few weeks and still in that awkward "new relationship" phase. We got our food, and went to look for a place to sit and bumped into his roommate (whom we will call B) at the time. I had previously met B in passing, so we were both familiar with one another but had never really conversed. As W goes to put his food down to sit down at B's table, he turn to me and says "Lena, this is Ben. Ben, this is ...*cue awkward pause* my special friend." I stood there, mortified that someone just called me their "special friend." I remember thinking, "no, your special friend is the hooker down the street. I am not your 'special' friend. I am your friend, your girlfriend, not a hooker." To me, special friend denoted a status that was completely separate from a committed relationship and closer to "lover".

Fast forward a year. I spent this Thanksgiving with a friend, L, and her family in Minnesota. The actual dinner happened at her uncle's house where there was a plethora of family, including her uncle A who had a serious case of word vomit when talking to me. Apparently, L's mother, when talking to A on the phone weeks earlier, mentioned that L was bring a "special friend to Thanksgiving. A Russian ballerina." So of course he acted awkward around me- he thought L and I were an item! What is even funnier is that L's mom did not realize the connotation of "special friend" when she used it, she thought it meant a "good" or "best friend".

Things I learned: be careful how you use special friend!

See You At 3rd Base

According to Mat Devine, "today’s generation is a new breed of lightning-paced, attention-deficient, instant-gratification-seeking, sexually-charged, Frappucino-chugging spaz sluts." Therefore, we must reevaluate the baseball analogy that has previously been used to discuss sexual behavior. After polling high school and college students, Devine suggests these new 'bases':

1st Base : Furious finger-blasting

2nd Base: Anal sex gangbang

3rd Base: Marriage

Home Run: Amicable divorce 

Perhaps Devine is writing this with a sense of humor (I sure hope he is), but I found these bases to be quite disturbing. Personally, I would not like to think that today's youth is so over-sexualized that these bases apply to them. Also, stating that "home run" is an "amicable divorce" implies that all relationships will eventually end and the best outcome is a divorce is just grim. I really hope that this new scale will not catch on and become part of everyday discourse.

Thought Catalog Article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/mat-devine/2014/05/its-high-time-we-update-the-sexual-bases/

#Meninist

I stumbled upon a Thought Catalog article that spoke about 'Meninism' which is a trend where men "take feminist memes and slogans, twist ‘em, and toss them right back at the girls." This trend picked back up again after the Solange/Jay-Z debacle and many of the tweets talked about how it is wrong for women to hit men. Now, I completely understand that men, just like women, are surrounded by gender norms that dictate how they should and should not behave. I do not support violence from either gender. But some of the tweets are expressions of random irking behaviors and not blatant sexism. For example:

SCamp Mack™ :No, you CAN'T have my hoodie. I like it too, it's the reason I bought it #MeninistTwitter

Sure, having someone take your hoodie without asking is rude on their part. But how is that an anti-male action. Having someone ask to have your hoodie is not objectifying you, so stop complaining and just tell your girl 'no.'

Mexican Yeezus :How about leaving the toilet seat up for once. #MeninistTwitter

Women complain about putting the toilet seat down not because doing so is "proper male behavior," but because it is common courtesy. Men can use the toilet both sitting down and standing up, plus they never face the risk of falling in. Women on the other hand, must always sit down to use the facilities. Most importantly, if you are not putting the seat down, that probably means that you are not putting the seat cover down either, and that means that the dirty toilet water is spraying everywhere when you flush. And nobody wants fecal matter on their toothbrush. So put the seat down, stop complaining, and thank us for trying to help you maintain oral hygiene. 

Mike lowery :No, I will not "pull out", it's MY body and I have a choice..don't silence my voice #MeninistTwitter

Mike, yes you have a choice about what happens with your body. But so does the women you are having sex with. If she wants you to pull out, that is her choice and her authority over her own body, so you need to respect that as well. Better yet, have a conversation about this before you engage in sex. That way, both of you will be on the same page and can decide whether "pulling out" is happening or not. Her asking you to "pull out" is not silencing your voice, it is making sure that she feels comfortable during and after this sexual encounter. And is probably somewhat preventing a potential pregnancy which will affect HER body. Stop complaining and be happy your girl ain't pregnant.

Thought Catalog Article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/05/the-brothers-strike-back-50-tweets-from-meninisttwitter/

Twitter Results: https://twitter.com/search?f=realtime&q=%23meninisttwitter&src=hash

Aren't You Afraid People Will Think You're A...

...Slut?
...Whore?
...Floozy?
...Healthy Human Being?

This cartoon (below) reminded me of our conversation we had about the use of "slut" and how it is often used to demonize female sexuality. In this cartoon, it is implied that the reporter is suggesting that the woman who uses birth control, thus a sexually active woman, will be seen as something negative by society. However, I found it curious how the female depicted turns the situation around and states that she is ok with her sexuality and ok with using birth control since it means she is a healthy human being, not a slut, whore, or floozy.

Guy Power

A few days ago, I received this ad (below) in the mail. I usually automatically thrown away ads I receive in the mail, but as I glanced over this one, I noticed that it had two images and they were labeled "Girl Power" and "Guy Power." The "Girl Power" image is two women and a man kickboxing, while the image corresponding to "Guy Power" is two women and one man cycling. I was intrigued by the use of "Guy Power" because one often sees "Girl Power" used to denote female strength and unity, but I have never seen "Guy Power" be used in the same way. I was also a bit confused by the images that they chose to include. I understand that include a photo of all women and another of all men would be even more sexist, but I did not understand why they chose to use the slogans "Girl Power" and "Guy Power" with photos that did not particularly correspond with the photos included.

Just a bit of Holiday "Romance"

I was reading an article for another class titled" Dollars Are a Girl’s Best Friend? Female Tourists’
Sexual Behaviour in the Caribbean" by Jacqueline Sánchez Taylor. In the article, Taylor talks about "female sex tourism" that is often called "romance tourism." I found it very interesting that when men engage in paying for sex, it is seen as buying a prostitute or "sex tourism", while women who do the same thing engage in "romance tourism," thus implying that women must have some sort of feelings towards the men they sleep with. Women are once again seen as engaging in romantic and emotional behavior while men are allowed the "privilege" of having sex for sex's sake. 

Don't You just Love Diction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3454812603&feature=iv&list=UUpko_-a4wgz2u_DgDgd9fqA&src_vid=TvE1z7ujQ4s&v=iTSXGanCd7c

When I first saw the title of this video, I knew it would be perfect for a class on Language and Sexuality. Upon watching it and listening to the words, I tried to figure out if there was a pattern or not of what made words sound 'dirty'. My best guess is that they could like other words that we associate with being 'naughty'.
For example:
'Diphthong' sounds like 'thong' (although upon first hearing this word in a Linguistics class, I personally did not think it sounded dirty at all. Then again, what do I know)
'Dongle', 'peen', and 'coccyx' sound like 'dong', 'penis', and 'cock' respectively, which are all terms for penis.
'Angina' sounds like 'vagina' (fun fact, I used to think 'angina' was another term for strep throat. This explains the weird looks I used to receive after stating that I had angina).
'Annals' sounds like 'anal' as in anal sex.
'Futtock' sounds like 'buttock'.
'Mastication' sounds like 'masturbation'.
'Kumquat' sounds like 'cum'.
'Sexton' contains the word 'sex'.

So I guess the general pattern is words that sound like other 'naughty' words? 

All those Voice-mails Definitely Wasn't Me

http://viraltv1.com/what-dating-would-be-like-if-men-and-women-switch-their-roles/?fb_action_ids=726565417386648&fb_action_types=og.recommends

Like the Boys will be Girls and Girls will Be Boys videos, this parody swaps gender roles. Similarly to the other videos, it makes sweeping generalizations about women and men. It claims women all watch romantic movies, over-think nice gestures from a man, steal french fries, and want to 'take things slow,' while men have an awkward response to "I love you," never listen to what their girlfriend is talking about, check out other girls, finish too fast ( and claim that this "never happens" to them), and fart in bed.
I think such videos make people laugh because they are such an over exaggerated portrayal of reality but also because the actions of the individuals in the videos do not correspond with the gendered behavior and language we expect them to have, that we find it odd and silly.

Good thing this never happens to adults...

http://www.upworthy.com/when-its-done-with-adults-the-gender-stereotyping-we-do-with-kids-looks-as-ridiculous-as-it-is

This video once again highlights the difference in gender norms, and when it is exaggerated, it is much more obvious. For example, the mugs with the words "Diva" and "Princess" for girls as opposed to "Rockstar" and "Stud" for boys. This implies that the only thing a girl can be (or want to be) is a Princess or Diva and a boy can only be/want to be a Rockstar or Stud. Surprisingly, 'Princess' and 'Divs' can also have negative connotations and denote someone who is stuck-up or overly prissy, therefore putting girls into a negative identity.
It was also interesting how the same action performed by a girl would be called 'bossy' as opposed to 'leadership' when performed by a boy. Once again, 'bossy' has a negative connotation while 'leadership' is a positive trait.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

On a recent procrastination binge of Upworthy, I stumbled upon this page which takes "scandal" magazine headlines and parses them down to reveal what actually is occurring.

http://www.upworthy.com/when-you-take-the-sexism-out-of-headlines-the-results-are-hilarious-but-should-they-be

It was not until I read this that I realized how much media portrays women as dependent sex objects that are judges mostly on their outward appearances. I have never been one to read scandal magazines but seeing them shown like this makes me question what people are doing with their lives (as in the people publishing these "articles" and photos, as well as the people reading them). I was very shocked how much emphasis is put on what women are wearing, whether it is to "hide their enviable figure" or is revealing their "less than perfect" (by media standards) legs. Honestly, who cares if the hat was "mustard" and the blazer was "yellow." For heaven's sake, 'mustard' and 'yellow' are the same color. However, the magazines assume that women, being color-savvy creatures, will obviously know the difference between mustard and yellow (flashback to previous class conversations). 

"You Can't be Sexy"

This occurred during a conversation that I had with a friend (we will call her W). W was telling me that her friend (we will call him N) keeps saying things along the lines of "You're such a dude," "There's no way you could be sexy," "You're so manly," etc. My friend grew up on a farm and is extremely proud of the fact that she is not a helpless petite size zero, but rather a strong independent woman who can do manual labor. W was explaining that she is upset that N keeps implying that she is not feminine. W and I then went on to discuss of how N's views of what "feminine" and "sexy" and "womanly" are is so narrow that he cannot go outside of his comfort zone to see that strong and independent does not have to mean "butch" or "manly." W went as far as calling him a "misogynistic bastard," but this interaction definitely got me thinking about how narrow society's definition of what it means to be a woman is. 

Hey Man, you can't say that to a Woman!

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/things-men-shouldnt-say-to-women

Upon reading this article, I was intrigued of how I had previously heard a number of these phrases used before but usually as a joke and I had never thought too much into it. However, I now wonder if these statements would be considered equally wrong or offensive to the authors if they were said by a woman to another woman, or a woman to a man, or even a man to another man. Is it wrong for men to call women a "slut" or "bitch", or is it wrong for women to be called such names by anyone? If I were to tell a man he looked great for his age, would that be a "no-no," or is it only "wrong" to say to a woman due to social standards of female beauty and the notion that women's looks fade with age? Perhaps calling a man "rational" is offensive because it disregards his emotional side?

Step the Fuck Up

In a recent game of "Step the Fuck Up," a.k.a. "Ten Fingers," someone said "step the fuck up if you've done bondage." This statement was followed with a player piping in and asking "define bondage." This made me realize that just like "hooking up" and "having sex," the terms we use to discuss our sexual activities are very ambiguous. For example, I consider bondage anything that involves being restrained, including handcuffs and silk ribbons. However, others consider bondage to be closer to BDSM with leather straps and ropes. This may explain why "bondage" is seen as taboo or kinky, because it depends on how "outside of the norm" the activity is considered.

Two-Spirit

http://www.upworthy.com/homosexuality-is-an-annoying-thing-someone-invented-so-this-group-of-americans-is-un-inventing-it

I came across this video that talked about the Native American concept of a person possessing Two-Spirits as opposed to the Western labels of gender identity and sexual orientation. What intrigued me about the video is that the contributors would draw parallels between homosexuality and being Two-Spirit, when I saw "two-spirit" being closer to bisexuality, or even a gender identity as opposed to a sexual orientation. Even the title of the "article"/video claims that Native Americans are "Un-Inventing" Homosexuality, when they are just clarifying that their culture has an identity known as "two-spirit." Even though this video is informative, I believe that it may be wrongly portraying information, especially in the claim that "homosexuality is an annoying thing someone invented," as opposed to a name to an identity that a certain demographic and culture uses.

Related Cartoons

A fun interlude of (even if only marginally) related cartoons!

Duck + Duck = Double Duck

http://thoughtcatalog.com/macy-bradshaw/2014/04/11-new-code-words-for-women-to-use-on-their-night-out/

I stumbled upon this article and even though it may not particularly apply to the way people use language that deals with sexuality, this talks about language that women may use while being sexual being and looking for a man to meet/date/hook up with, so in my opinion this counts.
What I found to be interesting is what putting these labels on men seems a bit degrading to them because they are put into categories based almost solely on their physical appearance. We have heard terms like "grenade" be used to refer to women and have heard of the "wing-man/woman" approach, so perhaps these terms will one day be included in female vocabulary when discussing men. 

Grow Some Balls and Eat the Peanut

This incident happened when I was at a rehearsal for my dance show. One of the dance group members, we will call her H, dropped a peanut on the ground while eating trail mix. She picked it up and tried to give it to someone else to hold, to which a fellow group member, P, responded, "H, stop. Be a man, grow some balls, and just eat the peanut." P wanted H to exhibit stereotypical male behavior of not being picky about what one eats, but it was surprising that eating a peanut that has been on the floor is a "manly" act since there is not anything particularly masculine about it. I guess this shows that we now use "'be a man" to respond to various different situations that may not exhibit stereotypical masculine behavior. 

You're a Basis Bitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaghIdSJKvQ

Urban Dictionary (as cited by this CollegeHumor clip) defines a "basic bitch" as "an extra regular female." The clip describes the "symptoms" as liking scented candles, Zumba, panini sandwiches from Panera, and wanting a picture frame that says "Family" on it.
However, when did "bitch" become a way to describe a regular female as opposed to being an insult that one calls a mean, rude, woman? How come it is now appropriate to call women by this highly gendered profane language in everyday conversation and in a non-profane way? Surprisingly, the woman in the commercial is sad that she will never become a "bad bitch," thus implying that one aims to become non-basic.
In addition, by defining a "basic bitch" as an "extra regular female," the clip implies that all women act in the way the woman in the skit does, therefore stereotyping female behavior to be "basic bitch" behavior.